I had a conversation with a friend recently about friendships, and how they change throughout our lives. Sometimes we are friends with someone because we always have been. Perhaps we met them in grade school or high school, but, if we met them today for the first time, we wouldn't be friends with that person. Maybe because we don’t have much in common with them anymore, or perhaps our personalities conflict. It’s okay to realize that.
You will have many friends and relationships throughout your life. You’ll have childhood friends who you ran around the neighborhood with, (and in my case, played in the street, chased down the ice cream truck, and stayed outside until the street lights came on). Sometimes, you’ll stay in touch with these friends. Other times, they’ll move away, never to be seen or heard from again. Then comes middle school and high school where you’ll meet more people. You’ll meet kids with piercings and crazy hair. You’ll meet impeccably dressed super-model-type kids with perfectly straight teeth. You’ll meet the loners and the shy quiet ones, and the outgoing popular kids and the class clowns. Eventually, you’ll find your own little tribe of weirdos. Maybe you’ll fit in. Maybe you won’t. But, you’ll form new friendships that will carry you through your teenage years, dating, kissing, sex, college exams, trade schools, military boot camp, or when you get a pseudo-crappy job because you don’t know what the hell to do with the rest of your life.
Then, maybe you’ll move into an apartment on your own, or to a new city, and some of these friends will stick by you, and some of them will continue on their own paths. Some will get married. Some won’t. Some will have kids. Some won’t ever want kids. Some will divorce. Some won’t. And through it all, you’ll find your pack: your little weird tribe that will jump in and support you when you need them.
Here is the interesting thing though: These people will change throughout your life, and also, some of these people will stay the same. Life is like a roller coaster. Ups and downs, twists and turns. Some people will sit in the seat with you, grab your hand and scream at the top of their lungs with you. And sometimes, those people will get off the ride and find a new one. If they go? It doesn’t mean they are gone for good. And if they stay? It doesn’t mean they will stick around. And that’s OKAY.
Sometimes the relationships we have throughout our life fade. But eventually, they may come back around, depending on where we are in our lives. This is natural. We are organic. We grow, and move, and flow through this world. So isn’t it accurate then, that our friendships should do that as well? Changing, moving, flowing, adapting, growing.
You will have many friends and relationships throughout your life. You’ll have childhood friends who you ran around the neighborhood with, (and in my case, played in the street, chased down the ice cream truck, and stayed outside until the street lights came on). Sometimes, you’ll stay in touch with these friends. Other times, they’ll move away, never to be seen or heard from again. Then comes middle school and high school where you’ll meet more people. You’ll meet kids with piercings and crazy hair. You’ll meet impeccably dressed super-model-type kids with perfectly straight teeth. You’ll meet the loners and the shy quiet ones, and the outgoing popular kids and the class clowns. Eventually, you’ll find your own little tribe of weirdos. Maybe you’ll fit in. Maybe you won’t. But, you’ll form new friendships that will carry you through your teenage years, dating, kissing, sex, college exams, trade schools, military boot camp, or when you get a pseudo-crappy job because you don’t know what the hell to do with the rest of your life.
Then, maybe you’ll move into an apartment on your own, or to a new city, and some of these friends will stick by you, and some of them will continue on their own paths. Some will get married. Some won’t. Some will have kids. Some won’t ever want kids. Some will divorce. Some won’t. And through it all, you’ll find your pack: your little weird tribe that will jump in and support you when you need them.
Here is the interesting thing though: These people will change throughout your life, and also, some of these people will stay the same. Life is like a roller coaster. Ups and downs, twists and turns. Some people will sit in the seat with you, grab your hand and scream at the top of their lungs with you. And sometimes, those people will get off the ride and find a new one. If they go? It doesn’t mean they are gone for good. And if they stay? It doesn’t mean they will stick around. And that’s OKAY.
Sometimes the relationships we have throughout our life fade. But eventually, they may come back around, depending on where we are in our lives. This is natural. We are organic. We grow, and move, and flow through this world. So isn’t it accurate then, that our friendships should do that as well? Changing, moving, flowing, adapting, growing.
Don’t be sad if you’ve lost a friend or significant other. Be glad and thankful for that person who was there just when you needed them to get you through those particular times. Or, taught you a lesson (or lessons) you needed to learn. You’ve impacted each other in many ways. Life is circular. What comes around, goes around. Sometimes we outgrow each other. It’s okay to appreciate them for what they were, but we don’t need to hold onto something that isn’t a positive force in our life anymore. It’s okay to realize that we no longer have anything in common. It’s also okay to find your way back to someone with whom you connected to before.
Life offers us the challenge to grow into the very best people we can become. Sometimes, that leads us down different paths than those we thought we were supposed to follow. But, every person we connected with has made their mark on us, and we on them. That is something, isn’t it? You matter. Your relationships -- whether casual or serious - matter. They’ve molded you into the person you are today. You influence people all around you, every day. Even strangers or acquaintances can be affected by your words and actions. If ever you think you haven’t made an impact in this world, don’t.
Don’t be afraid to let go of people and don’t be afraid to start something new with someone. We aren’t always sure of our course, but if we keep the people around us whose company we enjoy, who build us up and make a positive impact on our lives, we can’t go wrong.
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