My empathy.
And honestly? It made me feel ten feet tall and my heart swelled with happiness because I think that’s what this world is lacking. He said empathy “…is hard to find. Impossible to learn.” I disagreed with the fact that it’s impossible to learn. I refuse to believe that we cannot, as an entire intelligent race, learn to be empathetic.
You can’t see it. There’s no teacher for it – other than those who lead by example. It can take a long time. But I really feel that empathy is what the human race needs in order to move forward in general. Many people can’t see someone else’s side. They are so focused on their own opinions and feelings, that they steamroll and block out those around them. It is very difficult to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes, or even try to see or feel what they’re doing or experiencing. And, listen, nobody can know exactly what it’s like. But to TRY to UNDERSTAND is the gift. To show compassion and kindness in your words and in your actions is the challenge. You can disagree with a person, but you can still empathize with them. That’s where the difference lies.
I understand that you may want to scream at someone, call them out on their actions, or what you consider to be “wrong” behavior. But, depending on the situation, what is the point if you’re yelling, argumentative and cruel about it? Meanness just breeds more meanness. Have you ever noticed that children (and people in general) mirror each other?
If you yell at your kid, what do they do? They yell back. Or cry. Or throw a tantrum. If you scream at your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, friend, they instantly want to go on the defensive and scream back. Because you put them on the defensive. When you poke the bear, he gets angry.
It’s much harder to take the high road; to tailor your words to be kind. But showing compassion and empathy, will get you farther and, more times than not, create a more positive outcome. Not having empathy towards others will only allow negativity and selfishness to grow within and spread. Learning how to speak to someone to create the result you desire is a skill. You must practice it. When you say something cruel, mean or negative to somebody, it just sparks them to be negative in return. It ignites something in them to be defensive. Where does that get anybody? No where.
Especially in light of the recent election and everyone’s need to post their own opinions, thoughts and feelings, try to remember the other guy’s. It’s okay for you to be upset and want to vocalize YOUR hurt. But don’t blame everyone else and try to put them down. Don’t make someone else hurt because you do. That’s like kicking someone else in the shin because you fell down on yours. They are just as entitled to their opinion and feelings. One person does not rule the world. One person can’t change it, either.
But a whole lot of us can.
Use your powers for good, not evil.
Don’t fuel the hate fires.
Fuel what’s good in the world and maybe those who are angry or sad or uneducated and don’t know the way, will feel just a bit better for being understood or shown some grace. Maybe your empathy will inspire them to show empathy to someone else.
On my drive into work today, an old Howard Jones song came up on my playlist. I shall leave you with the words of “New Song”…
They take the challenge to their hearts
Challenging preconceived ideas
Saying goodbye to long standing fears
Don't crack up, bend your brain, see both sides
Throw off your mental chains