And then I hit delete.
I backspaced about 100 times. I was trying to write a blog. But the words that came out were wrong. So I hit delete.
I’ll tell you a secret.
I have never written part of one of my books and had to delete entire scenes.
Ever.
Why? Because when I write the stories I tell, I see them…like in a movie. I watch what happens and I write what I see. I guess that absolves me in some way. I’m merely a witness to what’s playing out before me. I write what I see. They are characters in a world that may or may not exist.
But when I write my blog, it’s different. It’s me. My accountability. My thoughts. My opinions. So…. I use the delete button. Because sometimes, I need to stop and think. Because what I’m about to put out there is not a character, not a voice, not a story. It’s me. And I think, “What do I want to share? To say?”
So when I write these words…they are completely true to me. They are not your truths. Not your reality. They are mine. BUT… What I strive for, what I hope to get across… is that it is our duty, our mission (should we choose to accept it – thanks, “Mission Impossible”) to grow into more compassionate, capable, respectful humans. No matter race, sex, religion, political affiliation, etc. It is our calling – to become BETTER humans.
Human.
That’s what we all are.
Once upon a time... (yes, I realize it’s cliché), I had dinner out with a friend.
We ordered drinks and pizza (my favorite.) And during our meal, he challenged me. We spoke about politics and religion. We spoke HARD. And by that, I mean we really talked.
About an hour into the conversation, he laughed, and gave me the best compliment ever. He said, “I feel like we’re on a talk show, and I’m interviewing you. And you’re doing amazing…because I’ve been talking to you – about REAL stuff – for like over an hour – and I HAVE LITERALLY NO IDEA who you voted for, if you’re democrat or republican, or what religious stance you have. It’s kind of amazing. We can talk about all this, and not argue or be mean to each other.”
I smiled. He laughed. We got another drink and finished our pizza. Then I think I coerced him to go to some bakery on the other side of town where I sampled crazy flavors of ice cream and bought weird pastries. Because that’s how I roll. We had an understanding. I was with a friend. It was good. You have to learn to speak your truth, but in a way to educate and enlighten, not to coerce or belittle. To speak with confidence and RESPECT is a learned skill. Because this important fact is true: You don’t have a delete button. You can’t rewind. You can say sorry, but you can’t take it back.
THIS IS IMPORTANT. You can’t take it back.
What you say, is who you are.
They say that actions speak louder than words.
But they (whoever “they” are) also say that the pen is mightier than the sword. In other words: WORDS are mightier than a swift blow of the sword….i.e. action. I don’t know what I agree with more …but I do think both hold equal value. Here’s why:
I know that when I say something to my kids, they REMEMBER. It’s golden. Just like Pony Boy. (Did I date myself? Dallas and Sodapop will forgive me, I think. Or maybe they'll cheer.) But I digress... Kids...they remember every word uttered and will throw it back at you if they can.
If I say – you can stay up until 10… they will REMIND of that at 9:00 p.m. If on Wednesday, I say they can have a friend over on Friday, (even when I regret it and am tired) they will remind me I said it. And, if I don’t follow through on something I have said to them? Or something that I preached? THEY REMEMBER. Clean up your dinner dishes. (If I leave them out? no no no nooooo.) Pick up your shoes! (If I leave them mine out? no no no nooooo) Children are mirrors. They see what we do. They do what we do. They say what we do. If you say it, you must DO it. Trust me, it's not always easy. It's almost NEVER easy.
But...
They remember.
So does everyone else. Adults, co-workers, spouses, are no different. We remember.
SO – are words stronger than actions? Or are actions stronger than words?
I think they both hold EQUAL value. I was never sure before. But now I am.
To paraphrase the great children's author, Dr. Suess: Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
And then follow through.
Always.
I will take both at face value.
And so will most of the rest of the world. You can’t take it back. You can’t hit delete.
Be thoughtful when you speak.
Be true when you act.
You don't have a delete button, Pony Boy. So stay golden.