I had a treacherously mentally challenging day at work. You see, I’ve recently started a new job, and it has been taxing to say the least, as most new jobs are. Well…that particular day nothing was going right. Work took longer, I was making little mistakes that I had to continuously correct. I incorectly filed documents at the court and couldn’t get the clerk to correct them for me… it was just one thing after another. Then, the plans I had made with a friend for that evening got unexpectedly canceled. “MutherF*cker,” I thought. I hadn’t brought my gym clothes because I had made plans. So that meant no stopping at the gym right after work, like my "regular" schedule called for. I left work feeling drained. I think said the “F” word about 100 times too many for any rational, intelligent human.
After driving a ridiculous 55 minutes home in rush-hour traffic (the drive normally takes about 25 minutes), I was spent; literally at my wit's end. The thought of changing into gym clothes and getting back into my stupid car, to drive in stupid traffic, to go to the stupid gym, was frankly, too much. To top it all off, I think I verbally overstepped myself with another friend. Now, I didn’t actually say anything wrong, per se, but I am aware of people’s personal boundaries. I have a feeling I probably touched on something that was uncomfortable, which in turn, made me feel like a jackass.
Sooooo. Gym?
Nah.
I opted to take a shower, put on pjs, make dinner, pour a cocktail and just sit. Sigh.
Sometimes, we need time to decompress.
It’s okay to not go to the gym once in a while.
It’s okay to leave the dinner dishes in the sink once in a while.
It’s okay to take a few hours for yourself and just be.
Schedules and routines are great. But we all need a mental health moment once in a while. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you need to take one. And, don’t worry so much about what other people say you should do. You know yourself best. Listen to your body. Listen to your mind. Listen to your heart.
But most importantly, listen to your gut. It’ll never steer you wrong. When everyone else is screaming something else at you, even your own mind or fears, your gut will tell you what’s what. Even when it’s scary, or doesn’t fit in with your “plan.” Trust your gut. I wasn't entirely sure I had anything to write or say, and even if I did, should I bother posting it? Would it hit home with anyone?
If deep down you think you should do or say something (or not do or not say something), you probably should listen to that little voice. Even if reason, familiarity, schedules, your brain, or everyone else is telling you otherwise.
Trust your gut.
So, yeah. I posted this.