But the other day? I got riled up. Here’s why:
There are very few things in this world that really push my buttons and anger me. I.e. activate the gnarly beast within. (oooohhhh! I should get two points for using the words “gnarly beast” in a blog! I swear, this is off the cuff. I’ll probably edit it out later.)
So, as I was saying… very few things push my buttons. I will, however, let you in on one of those things.
But first, “Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” (And two points to you if you get that reference…) Okay, back to my buttons. And what’s pushing them. I do not appreciate the opinions of people who make assumptions or judgments on those who have a more personal, knowledgeable assessment of what is being judged/assumed.
Maybe that sounds convoluted. Probably does.
Example:
Once upon a time, I argued with my brother (Ha! Good luck with that, btw! You will always lose. Or, at the very least, walk away flustered, pulling your hair out) I told him that he wasn’t being fair when he spewed his opinion about parents with kids of a certain age - because HIS kids weren’t that age yet, therefore, he shouldn’t criticize because he wasn’t in that situation.
He chastised me. UP and DOWN. He said, (in so many words) Screw that. I have kids. I’m a parent. I know myself. I know what’s acceptable to me and in my house, and I know what’s not. I have an opinion and it’s valid. My opinion counts. I have a right to it.
Yup. Absolutely. I had to back off, because he had a point. BUT, even though I understood his point, and it held merit, that doesn’t mean I have to agree with it. We all have these ideas about what we “would do” or “would say” in certain situations. However, when you are living them?? THAT is an entirely different story. There is a new element of experience added to the mix.
So, back to what riled me up. It was this “MoMo Challenge” business. Haven’t heard? I’ll give you the 5 second summary. FX Artist created a creepy face sculpture. Some douche canoe decided to fabricate a fictional story about it and how it’s “making” children commit horrible acts, including suicide. And suddenly the media picks it up, spreads the word, and BAM. Urban Legend created. Terrified Parents. And … completely false. Social media and the news propagated this scare.
That didn’t exist.
It was a cruel joke.
However, as a parent of three teens… and having dealt with and worried over so many issues already (including driving, teen pregnancy, smoking, drinking, drugs, pot smoking, vaping, internet hoaxes, depression, cutting, etc. the list goes on....) WHEN WE SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON THE NEWS, WE, AS PARENTS TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. Because even if ONE single KID took their life, or aided in someone else’s… IT’S A BIG FREAKING DEAL.
This is our child.
Our baby.
A person who we are about to unleash into the world, and we hope and pray that we taught them all the right lessons, and that they heard, and learned, and have the tools and skills in place to make better decisions and good choices. And frankly, to not be assholes as adults.
And we screw up. We KNOW we do.
So when we see these stories (even if they are hoaxes), and we share them? Or talk to our kids? PLEASE, DON'T BELITTLE US.
Sure. You have an opinion. You think we’re stupid. You think we should research more.
Okay. Agreed. Maybe we are. Maybe we should. And you are entitled to your opinion. Who and how you share it with though, is what's relevant. How about you talk to me about this after you’ve had a 16-hour day. Waking up before the sun rises, getting your teens to school, working all day, maybe a trip to the gym, and the gas station or the ATM, only to come home to driving them to friends houses, driver’s education, band practice, honor's society meetings, etc. And throw in stopping at the store for milk and snacks, and coming home, exhausted, only to make dinner and sit down with them for 20 minutes, before they have to bury themselves in homework, and oh, they’re online, on instagram and snapchat, and there’s laundry to do, and dishes to do, and you still have to make sure they’ve studied, and "stop facetiming! And you need a shower, Stinky boy. And please, Daughter, pick up your dirty clothes!" And then you send them to bed, and kiss them goodnight, only to start the entire day over in just a few short hours… if you’ve managed to get more than 5 hours of sleep.
And then, in the middle of the next day that’s just as crazy, you catch a few minutes of a news story like MoMo. And think, “Sweet Jesus! What is this world coming to? I hope my kids or their friends don’t fall victim to this insanity!” And we worry. It’s one more card stacked on the house of cards, that’s already precariously wobbling.
So, yeah. When the news, and media blast some new “trend," and I’m just too freaking tired to google all the facts? I’m gonna talk to my kids about it. And I’m gonna talk to my peers and their parents. And see what’s what. Is it true? Is it valid? I dunno. I have no energy. But I’ll be damned if I sit quietly and let some strange, silent horror take my kid from me. Overreacting? Maybe.
Not all the facts? Probably.
Being overly cautious with my Kid?
ABSOFREAKINLUTELY. I will every time.
(Myself? Notsomuch. We parents tend to put ourselves last.)
But when it’s their lives at stake?
I will stand in front of a loaded gun to protect them. 100 percent of the time.
I’m not saying you can’t have an opinion. Or even that it’s wrong. I’m saying… Think before you blast judgments and declarations out there. It can be offensive (maybe you don’t care), it can be hurtful (maybe you don’t mind), it can be insensitive and ill-informed. But until you walk in those shoes, be mindful of what you say. That’s all I ask.
I've already admitted that I've made mistakes. That, as a parent of a teen, I'm in freaking unknown territory (other than my own experience as a teen... and back in the old days? THERE WAS NO INTERNET. NO SOCIAL MEDIA. Nobody photographed or shot video of the stupid things we did... ("Hang on! Let me whip out my Kodak camera and giant flash to snag that pic!" Maybe they'll turn out. Maybe they'll be over-exposed... who knows? I'll probably forget to take the roll of film into Perry Drugs to get them developed anyway...)
I will always be protective of my children.
If that means I share (stupidly or accidentally) some “false” warning or urban legend? I'll do it. I’ll take the heat. I’ll take the criticism.
I’d rather it be me, than my kid.
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