What she failed to comprehend was that patience is not only tested in angry, frustrated situations. Patience is tested in all kinds of life moments, including: Stressful times, nervous and anxious days, fearful moments, worrisome hours. And yes, other times, we’re just plain mad. Then, there are those occasions when we simply overthink, a common experience for most of us.
So tonight, I experienced an evening that I’m quite sure is common for many of you. After a long day at work, I went to the gym, then stopped at the grocery store, then went home to prepare dinner for my kids. I didn’t have time to eat myself, as my oldest was going to a friend’s house and I had to drive her.
No, wait. Scratch that. SHE had to drive ME. You see, she recently received her learner’s permit, so she needs the hours behind the wheel before earning her actual driver’s license.
So, on an empty churning stomach, and covered in dried, salty sweat (and smelling like a gym), I climbed in beside my tiny daughter (who slowly moved the power seat so far forward I almost giggled out loud), and buckled up while she drove us to her friend’s house.
Trying to emulate a supportive teacher, I tried to speak quietly and remain calm, although I was anything but. My senses were on high alert, trying to catch anything and everything she might miss. After all, I didn’t have that extra passenger-side brake pedal like her driving instructor had! She actually did quite well, but this mama was hungry, tired, and a bit shaky…whether from the lack of nutrients and workout or from the drive, or both. Regardless, I was drained.
I returned home, warmed up my plate of food and ate my dinner. By just after 8 p.m., the kitchen was cleaned up and the last of the dishes were loaded into the dishwasher when my middle daughter got one of her nosebleeds.
And when I say nosebleed, I mean blood-red, clot-dripping, disgusting gushing nosebleeds. It's a horrifying sight, and thank God it isn’t as painful as it looks, because it registers at about a 9 out of 10 on the gruesome scale.
Mom-worry skyrocketing, I grinned and nonchalantly told her, “Don’t get blood on the pillows.” Ah yeah. Humor, Jules. Cope with humor. She giggled and rammed the tissues farther up her nose.
Meanwhile, my son had a friend over to spend the night. They asked to go on a bike ride and I agreed, but, told them they could only go out for a little while and to be home before dark.
Well ... the moon rose and the skies grew dark, and still, my son wasn’t home. Cue the panic! Leaving my middle daughter at home in case he returned, I finally decided to get in my car and scour the neighborhood. I have strict rules as to how far he’s allowed to ride, so I knew I had a relatively small search area. As I drove through the dark streets with my bright lights on, my fear, worry, and anger grew. Tears began to bubble up in my eyes and I gripped the steering wheel tighter, willing myself not to cry. “That kid better get his butt home fast!” I grumbled, more to calm myself and stop thinking the worst. Because as my quiet mind worried, it quickly ran through several scenarios, all of them scary, and all of them ending with some pervy, creepy dude in a van snatching my kid (and the neighbor’s kid), and disappearing into oblivion.
Just then, my cell phone rang.
“Hi mommy, they just came home.”
“Oh thank god!” I gasped. “Your brother is in trouble!” I muttered more to myself than to her, and clicked off the phone.
I walked into the house, threw my keys on the counter and saw my son slumped over at the dining table, waiting for his punishment. I barely contained my anger as I tried to calmly speak (LOUDLY) at my son. “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WORRIED? I told you to be home before dark. It’s WAY PAST THAT! You know better than this! I am extremely disappointed in you.”
The first words out of his mouth were “I’m sorry, Mama. We didn’t…”
I cut him off. “STOP.” I held up my hand. “Stop right there. You KNEW it was dark. You KNEW you had to be home. Do you realize there’s a curfew? I had to go out looking for you! I was worried sick!”
Looking incredibly apologetic and scared, he blinked his teary eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” I answered and turned away to hang up the keys I had thrown on the counter. (Deep breath! Be strong! Don’t cave! Use the anger! Gahhhh!!!)
Just then, his friend spoke up. “I’m sorry, too. I know better. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” I grimly repeated. I turned to look at my son. “You’re grounded from your bike. We’ll talk about this later.” And with that, I dismissed him.
And then, I filled my wine glass.
My God, the number of emotions my poor body experienced in just a few short hours were almost too many. And yet, I’d do it all over again … because that is what being human is. That's what having a family and people you care about in your life is. And, when you look across the world… we ALL feel the same things. We are all so different: Skin color. Background. Culture. Education. Upbringing. Love. Relationships. Age. Employment. Sexual Orientation. Ethnicity. Religion. But, the connecting factor? HUMANITY. We all experience these emotions … sometimes daily, or weekly, or all at once. We all feel, and deal, and experience, and cope. And, we all are unique in how we process and handle these situations. But, we all know fear. We all know Anxiety. Stress. Love. Joy. Bliss.
We feel. Try to remember that the next time someone speaks or writes about something they feel strongly about. Whether it’s the latest police shooting, or gun control, or Muslim vs. Christianity, pro-choice vs. pro-life … These are all issues in the world around us. We’ve all had moments and events that have shaped our opinions and views on various matters. But, we all face our individual daily struggles, fears, failures, triumphs and successes in our own way. We all have our patience tested. Some handle it better than others. Patience is my life lesson to learn. Of this, I have no doubt. I have been tested over and over, and I will continue to be tested until I can master it. I believe the universe has a way of making sure you get what it’s trying to teach.
But in the end, we are all human. That’s what matters. Remember, we all walk through our own days, with our own challenges … no matter race, religion, sexual orientation, politics, career, or economic status. It’s all relative. We are all people who share this Earth. Remember to act like it. Be compassionate. Remember that you are in control of your own emotions, actions and words. Don’t turn them into weapons of destruction.
I shall leave you with some wise words often uttered by my dad in farewell, “See you later. Love you. Be good. Be kind.”
Psst. Pass it on. Pay it forward.
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