It started with the fact that I grew up in a family of six children. (I’m number 5 of 6.) I had what I thought was a pretty typical, ‘normal’ childhood…but things were tight. We shopped at garage sales and I lived in hand-me-downs…even from my brothers. If a pair of jeans fit you, it didn’t matter if they were boys or girls. You wore them. My parents always made sure I had a brand new outfit for the first day of school, including new shoes (thank goodness!) Generally, when you’re part of a half-dozen kids, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle, and, when calling for one of us my parents often yelled some sort of mishmash of our names…”LeKrisJUULIEEE!” with the hope that the right kid would come thundering down the stairs, or in from playing outside. We had chores every Saturday and we did them without getting an allowance. Making your bed in the morning before school was a requirement, not an option. We had leftovers, and packed brown bag lunches every day with a quarter to buy milk at school. If we complained we were bored, my mother would simply say, "Go outside or go clean your room." We had to share everything, including roller skates, video games and the telephone, which hung on the wall and had a 6-foot cord so you could sit on the top step of the basement stairs and close the door for some semblance of privacy while you talked to your best friend about how cute a certain boy was, or what a jerk Mr. So-and-So was.
But… our birthday… now THAT was something altogether different. We often got to choose what we wanted for our birthday dinner (unheard of in a household of nine people!) We got a present – just for us – that wasn’t a hand-me-down. We got to stay up until MIDNIGHT (Whoa! Of course…we still had to be IN our room at 9 pm…) But, if we could muster it, we were allowed to have the lights on and stay up playing, or reading, or whatever until midnight. And, basically, our parents forced our siblings to be nice to us that day. A birthday was the day things were about YOU. First helping of dinner, first glass of milk poured, first piece of cake served. And everyone had to SING to you. (Let me tell you, you haven't really lived until you experience my family's unique rendition of 'Happy Birthday'!) Being “first” was a rarity… unless I was the first one being yelled at. Haha. (Just kiddin’). It was your special day, and let me tell you… for this loner little girl in a house full of people, it was THE most special day of the year.
But as I grew older, I also realized some other things about birthdays that we often take for granted.
The day you were born, something beautifully unique was created and you came into this world full of your own special gifts, talents and quirks to unleash on the world. Every moment you are alive, you have a choice and an opportunity to make an impact on someone’s life, including your own. You can bring joy, sadness, feelings, new thoughts, ideas, smiles, sympathy, encouragement, conversation, even simple company. You are unique. There is no one like you. The day you came into the world was a day like no other because there has never been anyone like you before, and there will never be anyone like you again. This day should be celebrated.
As always, I like to call the month of August “Juliepalooza” – a month-long celebration of my birthday! This year, however, I did something different. I came up with a list of 31 things to do to celebrate in a big way; one thing for every day of the month. I made the list and stuck it up on my fridge where it stayed for the entire month. To clarify, this wasn’t a list of 31 things to buy, but it was meant to make me purposely take time for myself and for others. Now, when you’re a single, working mother of three and it’s summertime, do you even realize how hard it is to do one thing each day, people? Lemme tell ya, it’s HARD. VERY HARD! At day 11, I had only managed to cross off five things from my list and I was already 6 items behind, which meant I would have to double-up on some days.
As ‘adults’ (blarg, I hate that word…) we tend to put a lot of other people’s needs first, get bogged down with work and commitments and other various ‘crap’ that seems to fill our days and nights. We often get stressed at life’s everyday things, and we sometimes we forget to enjoy the life we are living. This list was created to make me to stop and smell the roses, so-to-speak.
Again, by day 18, I was seriously lacking. I was still somehow behind 6, having only completed 12 items. By this time, I knew it may be impossible to complete all 31 things, but I did my best to fulfill the 31 day Juliepalooza event. I’m proud to say I managed to cross off 29 items.
Other things included random act of kindness… such as helping a women in a cast put her gas cap back on, to running out into the parking lot to return an item left on the convenience store counter to a patron, to paying for the order for the person behind me in line at McDonald’s.
I took time for myself to do things I enjoyed. Reading. Writing. Running. Drawing. Dancing. I took extra time to do different things with my kids. I finally got to sit and watch the Chronicles of Narnia movies!!! (I was a blubbering mess, by the way) and, overall, it was the best birthday month! It wasn’t filled with expensive gifts, or trips, or spending a lot of money. (Although, I can now say I've been to the World's Longest Yard Sale!) But instead, I was rewarded by heartfelt thanks and joy. I had more meaningful conversations with my children because of the things that were going on…random acts of kindness, quiet moments reading on the deck, laughter and music shared over a bonfire, smiles more than I can count, and a feeling of thanks and gratitude for enjoying life’s simple pleasures. I connected with so many friends, and family… even strangers, that I can honestly say it was one of the most rewarding months of my life that I’ve ever experienced.
And, because it’s worthy of being repeated, and you, (yes, YOU…munching on your lunch while stealing a few moments in front of the internet during your busy day…) YOU may need to be reminded of it: The day you came into the world was a day like no other because there has never been anyone like you before, and there will never be anyone like you again. This day should be celebrated. BIG TIME.
I’m happy you’re here.
You’ve affected other people.
The effect you have had on the world around you is exponential.
Do it more. Do it better.