Since then, my daughter has asked me at least three times in the past week if she can get a cell phone. The first time she asked, I was standing at the sink gulping down a glass of water when she skipped up to me with her bright, smiling eyes and asked. After my eyes bugged out and I choked on my water, I quickly replied, “Not any time soon!” She shrugged me off and let it go. Then, a few days later, she stared up at me with those huge, brown pleading eyes and said, “Mama? When am I gonna be allowed to have a cell phone? All my friends have them.” This time, I wasn’t so shocked and stared her squarely in those puppy-dog pleading eyes and said, “Not for a while sweetie. There’s no need for you to have a cell phone right now. Either your Dad or myself are always home for you after school, and we have a house phone. You can call your friends on that as much as you want.” Knowing she wasn’t gonna get a better answer, she walked off to play with her Barbies. A few days later, she asked again, using the same logic of “…but all of my friends have one.”
That did it. I lost it. And then, I somehow morphed into my mother and found myself saying, (gasp) “Just because all of your friends have one doesn’t mean you get to have one.” I torpedoed into a lecture spouting off to her that it costs money, and we have a perfectly good house phone and blah, blah, blah… (I’m sure that’s what she heard too. You know – like any grownup talking on those old Charlie Brown Specials? Wah wahhh wahwahwah wahhh…) Yikes. When did I turn into my mother?
I suppose it happens to all of us at some time or another though. And I can’t say I’m sorry I did. Although a small part of me inwardly cringed, I realized the frustrations my mother felt when we asked for something ridiculous for the 10,000th time that we knew was probably out of the question. (By the way, sorry about that, Mom.) But hey – as kids – we had to go for it – right? If you never ask, you’ll never know the answer. And, to quote my very wise mother (who often quoted other people), "Ask, and you shall receive." Ha! See?
That’s something I think we forget. We get too nervous about someone saying, “No,” or not giving us the answer we wanna hear, so we simply avoid asking the question. Think about it. How many times did you avoid a confrontation at work, at home, or with a friend because of that? Maybe it was asking for a raise, or needing a ride somewhere because your car’s in the shop. Maybe you have a big event to go to but you can’t afford something new but don’t want to bother your friend to ask to borrow something. Sometimes we need to throw caution to the wind, bite the bullet and spit out our question. Remember my encounter with the Mr. Super Cute Bass Player guy from the Killer Flamingos? (*See previous Blog “A Weekend Adventure: Bird Watching.”) I got up the nerve, asked my question, and got what I wanted! I’ve also had to suck it up and get over my nerves in dealing with all of this book publishing stuff. I mean, I just don’t know what I’m doing sometimes. But I’ve realized that if you just put yourself out there and ask the question you need to know, more often than not, you’ll get a decent answer. Although it’s not always exactly what I wanna hear, it may help me think of another way to approach my problem…give me a different direction to take. Other times, it answers my question easily and I can move forward from there. In any case, I’m always more satisfied that I’ve asked the question and I don’t have to wonder, "What if.." or "If only..." or "Why not?"
So go ahead, act like a 10-year-old and ask for a cell phone. Three times. Maybe you’ll get the answer you wanna hear. Maybe you won’t. But you’ll never know if you don’t ask. Can you hear me now?