Anyhow, back to my mangy dog.
Number 1. (Yeah, I like to write out the word "number," so that when you read this, you have to say, “number one” in your head. It’s also a throw-back homage to the T.V. show, Star Trek Generations… “Make it so, Number One!” I loved that show. But I digress…and this leads me to my first point.) Number 1. (For real this time.) I talk too much. And sometimes, too loud. I have been shushed in restaurants and public places by friends or family for carrying on a bit too loudly…although, I have been better about keeping myself in check lately. But, if I’m at your house, especially during a large gathering, all bets are off. I’m loud. And I will talk. A lot....to anybody.
Number 2. I am a bit of a dork. (See Star Trek Generations reference in number one above.) Enough said.
Number 3. I'm too optimistic. It’s a gift and a curse. It sometimes bites me in the arse when I’m looking for the rainbows and unicorns but instead, find myself facing a crapstorm. However, I’d say that more times than not, being optimistic has carried me through some pretty rough weather. It has saved me from drowning in the crap and getting sucked into the ocean of stinky blackness that inevitably eats away at many people.
Number 4. Media makes me cry. I cry at sappy movies... I cry at scary movies...I cry at sentimental movies. I cry when I read books. For Pete’s sake, I cried during Stephen King's Misery because the Sheriff got killed! I get sucked into these plots and am transported to another world where these characters are real. This can often lead to a poptarts-for-dinner evening, because I’m too sucked into whatever book or movie I have been engaged in.
Number 5 (is alive!) And if you get that movie reference, you are a rock star. Here’s number 5: I know a lot of random, useless movie and music trivia that will serve no purpose to me or anyone else unless I am their phone-a-friend on How to Be a Millionaire or Cash Cab. Please, Call Me, Maybe. Ha! I just threw in another one. Did ya catch that, Carly Rae? Two points for you if you did.
Number 6. I have no patience. Really, I don’t. I get frustrated easily and it’s something I continue to work on. My brain thinks fast and about a lot of things...seemingly all at once. I talk fast. I write fast. I walk fast. I draw fast. Painting helps. I have to wait for paint to dry when I use watercolors. It slows me down...makes me wait. But writing tends to make me more impatient…because I simply type faster to get the story or words out. This can then lead to an onslaught of tendonitis. Ugh. I am good at holding my tongue when I’m live and in person…but stick me in front of a computer and watch me go. The flip side? I have lightning fast typing skills.
Number 7. I have become intolerant of stupidity and I have no time for people who are self-serving, self-absorbed asshats. Please excuse the language, but really…there is no better word for them, is there?
Number 8. Although this might sound contradictory to number 7, I am sometimes too kind to people and often keep my mouth shut if I have nothing nice to say. Here’s the rub: sometimes, that comes off as being weak. It's not. I just want to avoid the conflict that might arise with the crazy person I'm dealing with. Also, I don’t see the point in hurting someone’s feelings intentionally, especially when their actions or opinions will not be changed or affected in a positive way by me speaking negative words. (Whew! That was a mouthful.) Therefore, I try not to speak negatively. Ever hear the saying, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?" Be sweet. It’s not weakness. It’s called killing them with kindness.
Number 9. I probably drink too much coffee. And too much wine. And I definitely love chocolate way more than I should. That’s all I have to say about that.
Number 10. I have to run. Three times a week. And, I know I will never be great at the sport. I will never be fast. I will never win races. And, even though my brain knows this, and my body will constantly fight against me, I will keep trying. Why? Because I am competitive. Because my heart pushes me to do it. I am competitive in all aspects of my life and I will always strive to do better. It's not in my nature to shy away from a challenge.
Number 11. I'm way too hard on myself. I am my own worst enemy and most critical judge of my work, my performances and especially my appearance. This has served me well in some cases, because I think it’s pushed me farther than I thought I could go. However, the key to this very important love/hate thing about me is to keep it in balance. When used for the power of good, it can be a tremendous asset. When used for evil, it can bring you down and make you doubt yourself, your skills and your talent. Balance it. Keep yourself in check. That’s what I’ve learned (or am learning) to do.
Number 12. Sometimes I'm sloppy. I like a clean house, but when I work, or cook, or paint, I am a mess. I'm often covered in ink, flour, marinara sauce or paint. Sometimes it gets on the ceiling. Or the furniture. I can't help it. I don't even know how it happens! If any of you have been in a kitchen with me, in an art class with me, or have seen me after I work on a painting, you know this is true. Eh. What fun is life without getting a little messy, right? I clean it up afterwards...quickly.
Number 13. I tend to destroy anything technologically more advanced than me... which pretty much means I will break, ruin, tangle or somehow kill any smartphone, iPod, laptop, or other digital device (especially one with a cord) that I touch. (Although, not on purpose! I promise!) Tekkies, beware. I think I must have some crazy juju from another lifetime or something… I have no explanation for it. However, if those aliens from Steven Speilburg's Falling Skies really do come and attack our planet, just send me to their Mother ship. I’ll take ‘em down and have them running to their home planet for rebooting in no time.
Number 14. I have an addiction to sexy shoes and blingy rings...(Although, I am a bargain shopper and refuse to pay ridiculous amounts of money for anything.) Yeah. I don’t really see anything wrong with this. But if you have an aversion to sparkly things or sexy shoes, then I suppose this could be offensive.
This blog has kind of turned out to be a stellar example of my number one. I talk too much. Thanks for letting me share these good or not-so-good traits about myself. I'm sure I could come up several more examples... but then you might get bored. I think writing them out has helped me accept my nutty self just a tad more. I am not perfect. Nobody is. But we can all strive to be better people. Nicer people. People with more random/useless pop trivia… Plus, I’ve realized I can be used as a weapon of mass destruction if we ever get attacked by aliens. Turning a fault (or, a mangy dog) into a superpower…that’s pretty awesome. I think we all have super powers. Learn to turn yours for the power of good instead of evil. Embrace your faults. Improve them, learn from them or accept them. And then, live the best life you can.