It was funny. Not in the “ha-ha” way, but in the “that is just too bizarre to be true” way. The realization proved a long-standing theory of mine: just because we don’t believe something, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
I’ll give you another example. Take your fitness level…Many of us are blinded and don’t realize how out of shape we have become. We avoid mirrors and scales and buy pants with elastic in them to hide the truth from ourselves. “Noooo, I’m not really that heavy. Yesss! I can totally still run a mile! I was on the track team in high school!” And then…reality hits.
Yes. You are that heavy, and no, you cannot run that mile anymore.
Just because we can’t believe it, doesn’t make it less true.
I still can’t believe that I am a runner. It took me a full year and running a half-marathon to finally admit to myself that indeed, I am a runner. Two years later, I still don’t like to admit it to other people, because I’m afraid they’ll find out my little secret…that I really don’t know what the heck I’m doing, that I’m not a real runner and I’ll get kicked out of their little club. Of course, I rationalize silently with myself that this won’t actually happen. I don’t have a membership card that “they” (whoever “they” are) will revoke. But somewhere, in the dark little corners of my mind, those are the thoughts of doubt that weigh me down. I have written hundreds of thousands of words, yet I still can’t believe that I am a writer. It doesn’t fit into the carefully constructed image I have of myself. I write, and people actually read what a write. Still, I don’t believe it. Those same scary thoughts of disbelief and being ousted as a fraud clutter my mind. I don’t want to get kicked out of the club! Yet, every author I have met has welcomed me into their little community with open arms. Just as every runner has. I opened myself up and made my weaknesses crystal clear. Instead of being ridiculed, challenged or shunned, I was given acceptance, advice, and help.
I think when we are honest about what we are doing and what we want our outcome to be, people are more willing to lend a helping hand or offer support. When you put on airs (or as I used to say when I was kid, “act big”) it’s a turnoff. Who likes a know-it-all? Nobody. Who wants to be around someone who is full of themselves and can’t admit when they need help? Nobody. Of course, we all have that problem at some point or another. The key is to realize those qualities are there and be honest with ourselves about them. When we are willing to make ourselves vulnerable it allows us to be the most open to change and growth. It can also open the door to the most amazing opportunities and people.
I was absolutely blown away at the willingness of others to lend me a helping hand. It is the kind of person I strive to be. If I can make one person feel those feelings just one time, then I’ve accomplished something unbelievably great. Because for me, it has been perhaps the most incredible feeling I have ever experienced in my 40 years. I liken it to that scene in “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” when the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes too big… the explosion of warmth in my chest that overwhelms me with a happy, gooey goodness too big for words. I had it when I crossed the finish line at my first race (and every race since then) and heard other runners cheering for me, high-fiving me, and hugging me. I had it when my website went live and received my first comments from readers. I had it when I got my first rejection letter and my stupid-head brother made me cry with his words of encouragement and love. I had it when my book went live and earned several five-star reviews from complete strangers within two days of its release. I got it yet again, when a colleague and friend offered to complete a book trailer for me.
Happy, gooey goodness too big for words.
People can believe in you and do amazing things for you…if you let them. Will you ask for help? And if so, will accept it? Trust me, there are people out there whose only intentions are to offer friendship, support and motivation. The results can be spectacular and lead you down roads you never knew were there. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe in ourselves; It’s hard to believe in others. But it doesn’t make the reality of the situation any less real. At times, the reality of a particular situation sucks. But sometimes, whether it's personal or professional, the things you just “can’t believe” are the truest, most wonderful things there are.
I don’t often see magic, but I know I believe in it. I don’t often see miracles, but I believe in those too. And, I still don’t quite believe it, but I am a writer. Maybe if I keep saying it, it will sound truer. And maybe, just maybe, I have to believe the unbelievable. You should try it sometime... It just might make your story epic.