All of the girls got together to celebrate. We started off our evening at this cute little shop to paint pottery. She arrived with party hat and glasses on. We all picked out our pottery and got our creative juices flowing. I could not believe how difficult it was to paint those ceramic pieces! I felt like I was in fourth grade art class. Of course, I picked a silly mug with all kinds of raised polka dots all over it…and the stupid, creative part of me couldn’t just paint it all one color…Nooooo…I had to use five colors. Ugh. Leave it to me to make something simple, complicated. Admittedly, however, it was fun.
Then we headed to Papa Vino’s for some good old rich and cheesy Italian food. They wisely tucked us away in a corner. I’m sure they realized a party of eight women might make a tad bit of noise. After some good laughter, great conversation and several glasses of wine, my darling sister-in-law smiled lovingly, looked all sappy and teary-eyed across the table at me and sighed, “Ahhh…you look just like your brother.” (Yikes. I could see where this was going.) I answered quickly without blinking an eye, “Well don’t get any ideas! I am NOT gonna make out with you!” She busted out laughing so loud, I thought the manager might come over and kick us out before we finished our meal. Thankfully, he did not.
You see, I look a lot like two of my brothers. (I have three, but the oldest one and I look nothing alike.) My younger brother, Steven, and my older brother, John, share a lot of the same physical traits. In fact, people used to think John and I were twins when we were in high school…until he hit his growth spurt and shot up about six inches in one summer. I’m sure he loved that though… Having everyone think he was his younger sister’s twin. Ugh. Just what every hormonal teenage boy wants to hear. (Sorry, Jay.)
Maybe it’s because I grew up sandwiched in between the two of them and often got into all kinds of trouble, or maybe it’s because we’re closer in the genetic pool, but my brothers and I, we seem think a lot alike. One trait we share is competitiveness. When we do something, we have to do it 100% and we have to be the best. Why is that? Something inside of us driving us forward? Some inner voice nagging at us to be out in front? Something we learned? Who knows? But I’ll never forget one moment recently, sitting in the car with my younger brother and his wife, and the comment she made. We were talking about our running quests (as mine is just beginning) and she said something to the effect of, “Oh Steve had to train and train because he had to go out there and be amazing. He’s soooo competitive. He’s not gonna bother doing it if he can’t be great at it.” I laughed at out loud. Yep. That was us.
What I have learned lately though, is that you don’t have to be number one to feel like number one. For example, for me, I began my running quest embarrassed, out of shape and utterly hopeless that I would never get any better. But then, as I pushed and pushed and pushed, I realized that I can do better. Be better.
Don’t avoid doing something just because you don’t think you’ll be good at it. Try harder. Work harder. Your efforts will be rewarded. Even if it’s not in the way you think, it will pay off in the long run. (Ha! Pun intended.) I may not be the fastest runner, but I feel faster than I ever felt before. I may not be the first place finisher (or the 20th place finisher) but I crossed that finish line and won for myself. Now, my biggest competitor is me. How can I top myself? How can I be better?
My sister-in-law (you know, the one who was this close to making out with me) shared something with me the other day that gave me a completely new perspective of myself. She told me of a conversation she had with her husband/my brother (John) and how they were discussing the fact that I have a lot of potential as a runner because I just lay it out there and don’t hold back. She said I was gutsy. (What?!? I’m not gusty. I’m just ignorant!) And, because I’m not afraid of failure, I could be a great runner. They commented that I just put it all out there and go for it.
I was shocked.
And completely overwhelmed with gratitude at their compliment. I'm sure I couldn't convey my sincere thanks to them over their bold remark. There are no words. I never saw myself as being gutsy.
It’s funny how others view us, isn’t it? Sometimes other people see us much more clearly than we see ourselves. I guess I just don’t know any better, so I lay it all on the line and whatever happens, happens. I take what I’ve done, then push myself harder the next time because I know I can do better.
I’m glad I share that competitive spirit with my brothers. It helps me kick their butt every so often. It may not be in running, but I’ll be damned if they can bake a better chocolate chip cookie than me or paint a prettier picture. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll beat them in a race. Hey! Stranger things have happened. (Okay, maybe only in an episode of the Twilight Zone…but still…) I bet this blog went off in a direction that you never expected, huh? Started off talking about almost making out with my sister-in-law and ended up talking about an episode of the Twilight Zone…What can I say? I like to keep you guessing! Remember, there’s always a payoff in the end.
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