As many of you are aware, I’m training to run in my second half-marathon. I’m following a 14-week training program and am just wrapping up week 7. Each weekend, I have to endure what I hate the most…The Long Run. With each week, my long run gets longer, pushing my endurance level and preparing me to run 13.1 miles by the end of October. Today, I had to run eight miles. Eight. Long. Miles. And, what was worse, I had no running partner today. I dread running long distances without a partner because the voice in my head that screams at me to stop seems to be the only one I can hear.
Many people who have taken up running have asked me if it ever gets easier. They tell me they don’t like it, it’s hard, they can’t finish, they want to stop, and they all just want to know: when will it get easier? My answer? It’s all relative. Running is always hard.
But, there is a joy to it too. There is a feeling you just can’t explain until you feel it for yourself. Runner’s high? Maybe. But what I’m more specifically referring to is the feeling of accomplishment, strength, success and camaraderie you feel when you complete a certain distance or compete in a race. It’s indescribable. Add that to the fact that you are using nature’s most complex piece of machinery created, building a healthier body and a stronger heart and it becomes a no-brainer. But, make no mistake…running is hard. It’s just different levels of hard. Eventually, it will get easier to run one mile…or two miles… but with every mile comes new difficulty, and some days are hard no matter what. Some days, fatigue, stress, body aches, weather conditions or a hundred other things can affect your run negatively. Some days, two miles can feel like six. Others, two miles feels like a jog around the block. But, I can tell you this with certainty: the hardest part of any run is getting out the door and starting.
As I hit my snooze button for probably the tenth time, I struggled with that very task…getting out the door. I knew the distance I was attempting today was going to be a slow go. The longest distance I’ve run since last October was nine miles and that was six months ago! My fitness level with regard to endurance and the long run has definitely dropped since then. I knew it would take me nearly two hours. "I'm definitely eating a donut later," I thought.
I was running a straight and out-and-back 4-mile course. I drove to my starting point, parked my car, hit play on my ipod, started the timer on my watch and took off slowly. I was carrying a new piece of gear with me today…a water belt. Slosh. Slosh. Slosh. Ugh. With high temps and about a thousand percent humidity, drinking water is a must on a long run. Also, carrying some type of energy to refuel is important too. Last summer, during my long training runs, I would go out ahead of time and hide frozen water bottles under a tree or bush along my route. But, I just received this fancy new water belt for my birthday so I thought I'd try it out. It featured two holsters, two small water bottles and a large storage pocket to hold energy, snacks and/or a cell phone. I hated having to carry the extra weight of ice-filled water bottles on my hip, but it was a necessity. I spent the first mile having to stop every so often to adjust it until it became comfortable. Argh! What a pain! I hate carrying water on a run. The first mile was hard. The second and third seemed to go okay and I was averaging 10 1/2-minute miles. During the fourth mile I was tired. I took a few short walk breaks and some sips of water and kept going.
Slow.
When will I hit that turn-around point? I looked for the street sign that was my half-way marker and willed it to magically come closer. Drat. It didn’t work. I stared at the ground 3 feet in front of me trying to trick my brain so I wouldn’t look at how much farther ahead I still had to run.
Drat again.
That didn’t work either. It seemed sooooo far away! My body told me to stop. I just didn’t feel like running any more. I was tired. I was hot. I was tired. I was breathing heavy. And, in case you didn’t get it, I was tired.
Finally, I hit the turn-around point. THANK. GOD. I pulled out my GU. It's an energy gel consisting of about 100 calories of vitamins and nutrients and is almost pure carb. It’s used to keep your body properly fueled on a long run. I savored the GU as I walked. Then, I pulled out my water and sipped. And walked. And sipped. And walked. Ugh. I’ve got to get moving again. Past the half-way point now, I thought. I slowly began running. After about a half-mile, I slowed to a walk for 30 seconds. Even though I wanted to keep walking, I started running. With every walk break, it’s harder to start again. Distance is never easy for me.
My brain told me to stop. I wanted to stop. Miles 6 and 7 were even slower. Walk. Run. Walk. Run. This… is… the… longest… 8 miles of my life. Finally, I was coming up to my last mile and I dug in. My hips were really sore. Why do I hurt so much?
My heart spoke: Push, Julie.
Then, my brain chimed in: Stop. You want to stop.
Push. Dig. Run. You’ll get donuts at the end!
Stop! You’re tired. Just. Stop.
Last half-mile. Home stretch. Donuts. RUN.
There’s something motivating about knowing it’s the end of a run. I pushed hard. I was almost done. And, I knew that when I finished, a cool shower, a pot of coffee and a donut were waiting for me.
Mmmm… Donuts…
After my shower, I dumped my soggy, soaked running clothes in the hamper, swallowed down some ibuprofen and poured myself a humungous cup of coffee to drink with my chocolate-covered donut while I iced my shins. I was beat. That run kicked my ass and then some. I was looking forward to lazing around on the couch for the rest of the afternoon. I clicked on my laptop and mapped out my run and pace. That’s when I got a pleasant surprise.
What the what?!? I realized I actually ran 9 miles, not 8. No wonder I was so tired and sore… adding an extra mile onto an already-long run will do that. Now, I felt even better about doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. I ran nine freaking miles! Wahooo! Take that you stupid, half-marathon training program! You kicked my ass and I kicked yours right back! And, I’m eating two donuts now... just ‘cause.
I shared this running adventure for those of you who think that running is easy. It’s not. I also shared it to show you that every runner doubts themselves at times. And, training for something big is hard. Every runner…from Olympic athletes and elites to beginners and so-so runners like me…we all feel exactly the same. Every runner gets tired. Every runner plays the mental game and decides how they are going to finish…if they are going to finish. It’s like anything in life that we really don’t want to do. Sometimes, getting out the door is the hardest part. Sometimes, just visualizing that sweet reward at the end is the only thing that carries you through. That’s okay. Just get out the door. It’s half of the battle.
Then, listen to your heart instead of your head. It can take you places you never thought possible.