She nodded at me and I heard her mouth the words, “The weapon is live.” I flinched as the gunshots rang out next to me, but nodded. I slowly picked up the gun, fingers suddenly fumbling around the grip. Breathe, Jules. You know how to hold this thing. I am John Wick. Be John Wick. Every muscle in my body was tense. My shoulders were tight, knees were locked (they should have been bent) and hands were shaking. I closed one eye, aimed, lined up my sites, blew out the breath that I was holding, and then I squeezed the trigger. BOOM!!! The HUGE kickback was unexpected. The 40 caliber gun I held in my hand, bounced as it fired and the shell casing ricocheted. I don’t even know if I hit the target.
I steadied myself, bent my knees and repeated the process. BOOM! Again, the sound of the live round and force of the cannon was indescribable. It’s nothing like the movies. Again. And again. And again. I aimed and fired at the target. I think I hit it about a third of the time. After firing about 10 shots, my hands were shaking. My shoulders were tight and my arms shook with stress. How do people fire weapons continuously? This was hard.
At one point, my friend (and teacher) tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Keep your finger off the trigger until you’re ready to shoot.” Oh. Right. Dexterity was required. Don’t leave your index finger on the trigger. It should stay up on the side of the weapon, and then slide down when you’re ready to pull the trigger. Otherwise, keep it in the neutral (safe) position.
There were like ten things going through my head every time I got ready to pull the trigger. Proper hand grip on the weapon. Adjust your palms and thumbs. Keep your finger off the trigger. Steady the weapon. Close one eye. Aim at the target. Shoulders! Your shoulders are tense, Jules. Bend your knees more to compensate. Now, line up the sites. Got ‘em. Nope. Hands are shaking. Arms are shaking. Keep the sites in a line. STEADY! LINE THEM UP AGAIN! Move your index finger to the trigger. Remember, keep the sites lined up, even though your arms are shaking. And... PULL! BOOM!!!
Geeze! That’s loud! Every. Single. Time. Shell casings flew everywhere. With every pull of the trigger, they ricocheted, often hitting the shooter (i.e. me.) And yes, a few of those scalding hot casings went down the front of my shirt. OUUUCCCHH! Some hit my head. (I was later told most people wear baseball hats. Gee, thanks for telling me after the fact.) It was ridiculous. And awesome. And ridiculously awesome.
Over the course of 30 minutes, I shot approximately 75 rounds. I handled 4 different weapons: a Smith & Wesson 38; a Smith & Wesson M & P, a Smith & Wesson Shield, and a 22. I watched my friend load the weapons, with two empty magazines in her back pocket. (She’d reload the magazines as we fired off rounds.) The entire time, I stood back, watched her, and thought, “My God, she is so freaking badass. I’ll never be that cool. I’m soooo glad she has my back.” But I also thought, “This is so freaking cool. I am very lucky I get to do this. Go me, for having the guts to try.”
At the end of our 30 minutes, we pulled in our targets and my friend (and teacher) pointed out the shots I made. "See these? (She pointed to the larger holes in the target.) These are from the 40 caliber. These shots down here (all my holes lining the bottom third of my target) tell me you squeezed the trigger too hard and you jumped (letting the weapon move) every time you fired." (Yep. I sure did. That futhermucker made me flinch every single time.) She went on to point out the smaller holes. “See these? These are from the 22. Do you see how much more accurate you were? You even hit a dead center.” (Okay, not gonna lie. I smiled at that and inwardly gave myself a high-five. Hell yeah!!!) The 22 was wayyyyy easier for me to fire. I didn’t flinch or close my eyes every time I shot. I’m no expert, but I’m thinking NOT closing your eyes when firing a live weapon is probably a good thing.
As we left the range, she confided a secret. “So, I didn’t want to tell you guys this beforehand, but what you guys were firing were canons. They are very difficult, hard weapons to shoot. If you hit someone with one of those, you will take them down. I didn’t want to scare you before you used them, though. You guys did really well.”
Well... now I felt just a teeny, tiny bit better. 'Cause I was actually feeling like I sucked pretty hard. Although, I did have fun.
So, what can we take away from this adventure? A few things actually.
1. My friend is a freaking badass. She is, by far, the toughest chick I know.
2. I suck at shooting 40 caliber cannons.
3. My friend (former law enforcement) never once referred to it as a “gun.” It was a weapon. And, it was either hot, live, or empty. That, in and of itself demonstrated a unique awareness and education about them. They are more than their casual name of being referred to as a “gun.” They are, indeed, weapons. Weapons are powerful tools that can be used for both good and evil. Weapons can be artillery. Weapons can be words. Intellect is a weapon. Communication can be a weapon. Creativity is a weapon. Weapons can be deadly. And, weapons can save lives. As humans, I think we should always strive to use any weapons at our disposal for the power of good.
4. I think I might actually enjoy shooting a 22. I think I might love to do it again.
5. Doing something that scares you can be thrilling and cathartic. Am I still afraid of guns/weapons? Yes. Am I more educated and aware of their impact? Hell yes. Is it a skill? Absolutely.
We left the range to enjoy dinner and a much-needed drink. My hands were still shaking and were welcoming the margarita that was placed on the table before me. So, here’s a toast: To me. To us. For doing something we’d never thought we’d do. For brave, strong women, like my friend, who protect and serve us. For trying something, even when it scares us to death. For doing what we fear the most, is almost never, ever as bad as we make it out to be in our minds. And in the end, we come out stronger, braver, and wiser.
Do something that scares you. It can be awesome and rewarding in ways you never thought possible. No matter what your weapon of choice is, always remember, you wield its power, and it can be either be deadly, or it can save.
I steadied myself, bent my knees and repeated the process. BOOM! Again, the sound of the live round and force of the cannon was indescribable. It’s nothing like the movies. Again. And again. And again. I aimed and fired at the target. I think I hit it about a third of the time. After firing about 10 shots, my hands were shaking. My shoulders were tight and my arms shook with stress. How do people fire weapons continuously? This was hard.
At one point, my friend (and teacher) tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Keep your finger off the trigger until you’re ready to shoot.” Oh. Right. Dexterity was required. Don’t leave your index finger on the trigger. It should stay up on the side of the weapon, and then slide down when you’re ready to pull the trigger. Otherwise, keep it in the neutral (safe) position.
There were like ten things going through my head every time I got ready to pull the trigger. Proper hand grip on the weapon. Adjust your palms and thumbs. Keep your finger off the trigger. Steady the weapon. Close one eye. Aim at the target. Shoulders! Your shoulders are tense, Jules. Bend your knees more to compensate. Now, line up the sites. Got ‘em. Nope. Hands are shaking. Arms are shaking. Keep the sites in a line. STEADY! LINE THEM UP AGAIN! Move your index finger to the trigger. Remember, keep the sites lined up, even though your arms are shaking. And... PULL! BOOM!!!
Geeze! That’s loud! Every. Single. Time. Shell casings flew everywhere. With every pull of the trigger, they ricocheted, often hitting the shooter (i.e. me.) And yes, a few of those scalding hot casings went down the front of my shirt. OUUUCCCHH! Some hit my head. (I was later told most people wear baseball hats. Gee, thanks for telling me after the fact.) It was ridiculous. And awesome. And ridiculously awesome.
Over the course of 30 minutes, I shot approximately 75 rounds. I handled 4 different weapons: a Smith & Wesson 38; a Smith & Wesson M & P, a Smith & Wesson Shield, and a 22. I watched my friend load the weapons, with two empty magazines in her back pocket. (She’d reload the magazines as we fired off rounds.) The entire time, I stood back, watched her, and thought, “My God, she is so freaking badass. I’ll never be that cool. I’m soooo glad she has my back.” But I also thought, “This is so freaking cool. I am very lucky I get to do this. Go me, for having the guts to try.”
At the end of our 30 minutes, we pulled in our targets and my friend (and teacher) pointed out the shots I made. "See these? (She pointed to the larger holes in the target.) These are from the 40 caliber. These shots down here (all my holes lining the bottom third of my target) tell me you squeezed the trigger too hard and you jumped (letting the weapon move) every time you fired." (Yep. I sure did. That futhermucker made me flinch every single time.) She went on to point out the smaller holes. “See these? These are from the 22. Do you see how much more accurate you were? You even hit a dead center.” (Okay, not gonna lie. I smiled at that and inwardly gave myself a high-five. Hell yeah!!!) The 22 was wayyyyy easier for me to fire. I didn’t flinch or close my eyes every time I shot. I’m no expert, but I’m thinking NOT closing your eyes when firing a live weapon is probably a good thing.
As we left the range, she confided a secret. “So, I didn’t want to tell you guys this beforehand, but what you guys were firing were canons. They are very difficult, hard weapons to shoot. If you hit someone with one of those, you will take them down. I didn’t want to scare you before you used them, though. You guys did really well.”
Well... now I felt just a teeny, tiny bit better. 'Cause I was actually feeling like I sucked pretty hard. Although, I did have fun.
So, what can we take away from this adventure? A few things actually.
1. My friend is a freaking badass. She is, by far, the toughest chick I know.
2. I suck at shooting 40 caliber cannons.
3. My friend (former law enforcement) never once referred to it as a “gun.” It was a weapon. And, it was either hot, live, or empty. That, in and of itself demonstrated a unique awareness and education about them. They are more than their casual name of being referred to as a “gun.” They are, indeed, weapons. Weapons are powerful tools that can be used for both good and evil. Weapons can be artillery. Weapons can be words. Intellect is a weapon. Communication can be a weapon. Creativity is a weapon. Weapons can be deadly. And, weapons can save lives. As humans, I think we should always strive to use any weapons at our disposal for the power of good.
4. I think I might actually enjoy shooting a 22. I think I might love to do it again.
5. Doing something that scares you can be thrilling and cathartic. Am I still afraid of guns/weapons? Yes. Am I more educated and aware of their impact? Hell yes. Is it a skill? Absolutely.
We left the range to enjoy dinner and a much-needed drink. My hands were still shaking and were welcoming the margarita that was placed on the table before me. So, here’s a toast: To me. To us. For doing something we’d never thought we’d do. For brave, strong women, like my friend, who protect and serve us. For trying something, even when it scares us to death. For doing what we fear the most, is almost never, ever as bad as we make it out to be in our minds. And in the end, we come out stronger, braver, and wiser.
Do something that scares you. It can be awesome and rewarding in ways you never thought possible. No matter what your weapon of choice is, always remember, you wield its power, and it can be either be deadly, or it can save.
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